Why I Regret Ignoring God’s Voice That Day

I knew as soon as I pulled away it was a mistake ... ignoring God's voice that day. But it was illogical. It didn't make sense. Surely God was mistaken. Only, I'm pretty sure He wasn't.

One of my toddler’s favorite bathtime games is to lie back in the tub with her ears under the water and shout, “I can’t hear you!” Never mind that if I ask her, “can you hear me now?” she answers “no.” Uh huh, sure you can’t hear me, cutie pie.

It’s a fun game until it’s time to get her out of the bathtub:

I start off in a pleasant tone: Okay, time to get out! Sit up and you can drain the water.

I can’t hear you!

I take a slightly firmer tone: Reagan, it’s time to get out. Sit up now and Mommy will get you out.

I can’t hear you!

I haven’t lost it yet but I’m getting close: Reagan Leigh, out of the tub right now or _____________ (insert punishment of choice).

This is usually followed by my dripping-wet child slinking out of the tub and into the waiting hug of her bath towel.

My girl is only three years old and while not always acceptable, this is totally normal behavior for her age. Less tolerable is a grown woman (me) playing the I-can’t-hear-you-game with God.

A few years ago as I was stopped at a red light, I looked up to see a haggard homeless woman holding a sign asking for help. Feeling a nudge in my spirit, I rolled down my window, handed her a fresh bottle of water and asked her what her name was. Before driving away, I told her, “It was nice to meet you, Kay, I’ll be praying for you.”

And I meant it. I prayed for her on my way home and whenever she came to mind. I noticed she wasn’t at the same intersection over the next week and assumed she had moved on.

A few days later, I saw her with her sign at a different intersection, standing on the corner opposite from where I was stopped. In that instant I knew that God was calling me to pull over and offer to take her to dinner.

I can’t hear you!

Surely, I was imagining this. There wasn’t even a parking lot close by to stop at.

I can’t hear you!

And I was tired after a long work day.

I can’t hear you!

And I work for a Christian ministry – I don’t have extra money to take people out to eat.

I can’t hear you!

And it’s not safe to just pick up a random homeless person and take her to dinner.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8 (NIV)

I wish I could tell you I got over my objections and stepped out in faith to invite Kay to dinner that night, but I didn’t. I drove home trying to ignore what God had placed on my heart. I never saw Kay again and, to this day, I regret not acting on what I know God was calling me to do.

I still pray for Kay and I pray too that the next time God calls me to step way out of my comfort zone – out of what seems logical even – instead of saying “I can’t hear you,” I’ll respond with “Send me.”

 

Rachel Oliver
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Rachel Oliver

Rachel Oliver is mommy to one sweetheart of a girl and loved by a fabulous guy. Fueled by good chocolate {dark!}, good discussion and Diet Mountain Dew, she spends her days focused on family and encouraging others in the journey of motherhood.
Rachel Oliver
Join me!

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About Rachel Oliver

Rachel Oliver is mommy to one sweetheart of a girl and loved by a fabulous guy. Fueled by good chocolate {dark!}, good discussion and Diet Mountain Dew, she spends her days focused on family and encouraging others in the journey of motherhood.

  • Sasha

    I’m mushy today. This spilled tears.

    • Rachel Oliver

      I still spill tears over it. And then I wonder if I was in the position today would I do anything different. OUCH! I hope so 🙁

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