I mostly smirked until the last mom showed up … the hot mess mom. When she smelled her shirt I may have awoken a kid or two with the guffaw I was unable to contain within myself. I immediately identified with her.
After watching it three more times, (yes, I totally watched it over and over) I realized I actually identified with every single mom in the clip to some degree. (No, I am not still nursing my 3rd grader.) There are bits of all of these “types” that we really do identify with.
I think for many of us, especially when we hit the first time mom stride in our life, we do become the expert mom, who wants to do all the things, and raise an authentic kid. Protecting them from all the pesticides and devices that will keep them from being their perfect selves and us from being perfect moms. We put on masks, and we try to convey something we aren’t truly capable of being. In so doing, we often end up alienating ourselves and others.
For a long time, I was crunchy mom. I birthed my babies at home with doulas and midwives. I was careful to pick up my raw milk every Monday and reached out to a local farm for my produce.
I was an expert at all of these things by the second time I became a mother. I shared articles about alternative health and judged juice box moms. I shook my head at baby bottles and inductions, brought all of the snacks to play dates and mommy clubs.
The third baby arrived and I breastfed for two years. I handled fevers and runny noses with deft skill and lots of multitasking. I have homeschooled and started a business …
… and then sometime in the midst of it all, I stopped being able to keep all of the plates spinning … and
I became the hot mess mom.
It may be the best, most painful thing that has ever happened to me.
I did want to be all the things, but sometimes it’s just easier to throw the frozen dinner in the oven and be myself.
Lately God has been healing me from myself. He’s taught me to see past the juice boxes and medical births and baby formulas and all the other things I thought made me the superior mom. He’s shown me how to feel grace and mercy and even support for moms in every single circumstance. He’s given me a genuine love for all women in every situation.
He’s shown me I really wasn’t all that and a bag of kale chips during those years. I was already a hot mess and may have thought a little too much of myself.
If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, ‘Jump,’` and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:2 (MSG)
It has taken a little bit of pride stripping to move my heart to this new place. That’s often how healing works. You have to properly set the broken bone in order for it to heal properly, don’t you?
This healing is happening across all aspects of my life. My marriage, my mothering, my relationships, and even my business practices. He’s making them all stronger. I just needed to be humbled by the mess on my heart. (Chocolate or poo?)
What “types” are you struggling to be free from? I encourage you, acknowledge to the Father that you are a hot mess. (He already knows.) You’ll start to find that the healing is worth it.Which type of mom are you? I used to be the expert mom, but now I identify with the hot mess mom.Click To Tweet