When the Shift Happens

Three years ago, I went “gung ho” toward being a home school mom. I felt grounded in my reasons for choosing the path. I was confident in my plan. I could list tons of reasons why it was the best way to educate my kids. We were going to have so much fun doing this new thing!

And for two and a half years we did. And then we didn’t.

I love homeschool. I love the creativity to learn that it affords. I love that I can tailor the lesson plans to the way each individual kid learns. I love that we create our own schedule. I had visions of doing amazing projects together and spending tons of quality time with my kids.

But as our family needs changed, I began my own small cottage business, I began to find it harder and harder to keep up with everything. I had trouble sticking to lesson plans as the demands of my business grew.  I resisted the change and tried to own all of the things.  I didn’t want to let go of my dream of homeschooling.

As a result, everything suffered and I could no longer ignore the shift that was happening. At the end of this past school year, I was forced to make some decisions not only for myself, but for my kids too. My husband and I made the decision to send the oldest child back to school. Circumstance keeps us from sending the other school age child, but we are working toward him going back soon too. The decision alleviated a lot of daily stress.

I had to face the fact that I was spread too thin. While I still think that in a perfect world, homeschool is a wonderful option, we were not living in a perfect world.  As my husband’s schedule also began to change I was relieved to have made the decision. It made all the difference as school started back this week.


Knowing that I had to regroup for sanity’s sake has been hard. Even though it was the right thing to do, there is that little part of me, that ambitious, overly independent part of me, that is still whispering to my heart that I failed.

“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
    a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
    and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
    I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
    not as they pretend to be.”
Jeremiah 17:9-10

As this shift begins toward a new season in my life, I’m learning to trust God’s reality over my own heart. It can feel like an earthquake, but really it’s just a tweak in direction sometimes. When I get too wrapped up in my own desires (or pride maybe) I can easily miss the good things that are shaking down with this shift. In this case, the change does not mean I am settling for second best, it means that God is getting to the root of things that I am allowing to cloud my mind.

What shift is happening in your life, that may be a rooting out? Do you have trouble letting go at times too? How do you let go and let the shift happen?

Sasha Johns
Follow me

Sasha Johns

Sasha Johns is the wife to one amazing chiropractor and mom and teacher to 3 little well adjusted kids. She runs her own little cottage business True Vine Gifts where she repurposes wine corks into beautiful jewelry and home decor. It reminds her daily that Jesus redeems her too.
Sasha Johns
Follow me

Latest posts by Sasha Johns (see all)

About Sasha Johns

Sasha Johns is the wife to one amazing chiropractor and mom and teacher to 3 little well adjusted kids. She runs her own little cottage business True Vine Gifts where she repurposes wine corks into beautiful jewelry and home decor. It reminds her daily that Jesus redeems her too.

  • Beautiful honesty! Kudos to you for being brave enough to see this, even when it’s hard. I’m a homeschooling mama too and I think, as with any of these mama ideals, it’s easy for us to get on our bandwagons of righteousness when we really just need to trust God to lead us in the moment. Sometimes even seemingly great ideas are just for a season and God has a whole different kind of great waiting for the next season. The key is to not following what we think is great, but always following Him. You’re doing a great job of that mama!

    • I was heavy on bandwagons for a very long time, and while I still have those ideals I lean toward, I’m learning that I don’t have to convince everyone else to join me in them. You are exactly right. Follow Him, not me.

  • I have a really hard time letting go! I’m in a new season of life transitioning from a close knit community to job searching and self discovery. Praying for you sweet friend!

  • I love this! It’s sooo me … the excitement and determination for something GOOD. And I so struggle with letting go when it’s time to make a shift. Bravo for your wisdom and flexibility to do what’s best for you and your family!

    • Thanks girl. I think it gets easier with age….most days. Not always.

  • Amen! I felt a shift about being an English teacher and ignored it for a year. I just made myself and everyone around me miserable trying to FORCE my first vocation to keep working for me. When I finally decided to be open to change, everything was so much easier. Yes, it was work to retrain as a gerontologist, but I wasn’t stuck and angry. I was full of passion and purpose as I moved into a different space. I am glad that you found your new flow. Now your kids have both kinds of educational experience. They both have benefits. You are a good mom! Thanks for letting other women know about this kind of shake up. You will probably help someone else get unstuck!

    • Thanks for the kind words Karen! I hope it does help someone else! Thanks for sharing your experience too.

  • It is interesting you wrote about homeschooling because just today, i wondered how you wonderful mom’s do it. I personally wish i could but other responsibilities and my ministry will not allow it. I pray my children will learn from other wonderful people out there apart from me to have a balanced view on life. The most important thing is to teach them the Christian principles and pray for them as they began other teacher student relationships. It does not matter how long or short you home schooled. It is still a great achievement. All the best in your new business.

    • Thank you Matilda. They thing I had to make peace with is this. I’m not giving up being their parent. I still have more influence than their teachers. In the end that is what matters.

  • easier said than done – but if we trust God….

  • Pingback: A Change of Focus - Middle Places()

  • Pingback: Taking My Time | Middle Places()